i used to be passive aggressive, but now i’m aggressively passive. don’t mess with me kiddo. i’ll be right here. i’ll...
when you accidentally befriend someone annoying and you can’t get out of the friendship
The first time I say I love you, your face
crumbles. You look at me
the way man stares in terror
at the stars and the sea.
-I graduated college. After 5 years I got a degree and I’m so proud of this.
-I found a therapist that works with me. This...
My problem is that I hold on to things that I should let go. I always think that I can change the outcome of the past, that if I could just work harder and communicate more that all the problems that I’ve had will disappear. I’ve finally learned that this is not true. I cannot change a damn thing. I couldn’t change Juanmi’s mind to come to America when we were still together, and I could barely change his mind this time. With Chris, I could never get him to understand what I needed from him to feel loved. Now I see that maybe I’m not supposed to change things; maybe I’m supposed to simply accept them for what they are and decide that they are not for me.
Yes, I would love to have things different. I would love for Chris to suddenly do the things that I need from my boyfriend. I would love for Juanmi to come visit me and have us finally get some closure and part as friends. I would love to have my cake and eat it too. But I’m finally understanding that these things cannot happen, will not happen, and that it is absolutely okay to let go of them and view them as things that I cannot control.
I have been miserable for too long over the past. Now, it is time that I look at the present and the future, and let happen what will happen.
I’ve finally decided that I will not be an author because I hate writing out descriptions.
Playwright it is.
Loads of friends, piles of fun, and lots of love.
Twenty-three looks good on me.
Teachers need to tell their students in language class that unless they can have a full, coherent conversation, they cannot speak that language. I’m so tired of people telling me that they speak Spanish and as soon as I ask a simple question like where they learned it, they just stare at me and say my vocabulary is too big.
You don’t know a language until you can comprehend it orally and respond.
No, I’m not using my major right now, but that doesn’t mean it’s worthless and that I regret choosing an obscure major.
I’m still in transition, and actually, the majority of people I know in their 30s just got their shit together with buying a house and starting a career. So, I think it’s safe to say that I have a few more years of working random jobs and travelling before I have to “use my major like an adult.”
I got your emails and I got your calls
reminding me of the good times,
that you used to hold my heart
and a prominent position in my head.
I got your text and I got your words
telling me how you missed me,
that you wanted me back
and to call me yours once again.
I get that you think it was courage
some insane feat of strength
that welled up inside you to tell me how you feel,
but it wasn’t
because you only said it now
because you cannot have me.
Strength would be to let me go,
let me live out my (now) happy life
with someone else.
It wasn’t strength…
It was selfishness.
Do not let me know that you still love me.
Because that’s what you do when you have no grocery money and random leftover things in the house.