No, I’m not using my major right now, but that doesn’t mean it’s worthless and that I regret choosing an obscure major.
I’m still in transition, and actually, the majority of people I know in their 30s just got their shit together with buying a house and starting a career. So, I think it’s safe to say that I have a few more years of working random jobs and travelling before I have to “use my major like an adult.”
I got your emails and I got your calls
reminding me of the good times,
that you used to hold my heart
and a prominent position in my head.
I got your text and I got your words
telling me how you missed me,
that you wanted me back
and to call me yours once again.
I get that you think it was courage
some insane feat of strength
that welled up inside you to tell me how you feel,
but it wasn’t
because you only said it now
because you cannot have me.
Strength would be to let me go,
let me live out my (now) happy life
with someone else.
It wasn’t strength…
It was selfishness.
Do not let me know that you still love me.
Because that’s what you do when you have no grocery money and random leftover things in the house.
A year ago, Juanmi was supposed to be moving to America to be with me. Now, we don’t talk at all and I’m living with a new love.
A year ago, I was depressed to be in America and in school. All I wanted was to return to Europe. Now, I love living here and I can’t wait to start getting my doctorate. All I want to do is stay and have stability.
A year ago, my mom was pregnant. Now, I have the most adorable baby brother.
A year ago, I weighed 148 pounds. Now, I don’t know my weight and I don’t care.
A year ago, I was a completely different person living a completely different life. Now, I know that this is okay and I shouldn’t mourn them anymore.
I love where I came from and I love visiting, but I always feel so out of place when I come “home.” My family and friends have all moved on without me. Everything has changed and nothing remains, except my loyalty. But it’s not enough, anymore. I don’t feel at home. Maybe they’re right; maybe home is where the heart is. And I left that poor thing on a ranch in Napa.
Can I just declare how much I love and appreciate my boyfriend? He just bought me plane tickets home (leaving tomorrow) because he’s been working so much and I’ve been home alone, and he wants me to be with my family before I start working full time. He’s such a sweetheart, and I love and appreciate him so much!
Umm, yes, actually, you could train your small, male brain to stop viewing a woman in a bikini as a sex object. YOU are the only thing contributing to “selling sex” in this scenario by seeing skin and attributing it to sex. Pretty sure if they were trying to sell their bodies, they wouldn’t be washing cars instead.
I hate people.
Back to being a nanny. Back to loving life.
Like, yes, I’m going to go against my knowledge of my own boyfriend and how he treats me just because you said it??