Can't Close My Eyes

I don’t care what anyone says, the best fight in a movie is in Lion King when Scar and Simba...

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 18:19:02 +0200

I don’t care what anyone says, the best fight in a movie is in Lion King when Scar and Simba duke it out in the fire. That shit is intense. I’m cringing watching this… How did I ever watch this movie as a child?!

Also, best line in a movie goes to Timon. “What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?”

Dear ovaries,

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 16:54:13 +0200

I’m sorry for not getting pregnant. But don’t you think you’re overreacting just a bit?!

I haven't had human interaction in three days.

Sun, 03 Jun 2012 16:48:36 +0200

Yeah, I’ve gone grocery shopping and running through the park. But I didn’t talk to anyone, as I was shopping and running.

I don’t even know if my voice still works.

Really?

Sun, 03 Jun 2012 15:45:00 +0200

Train Man left on Friday to go see his parents. He was supposed to come back that night. He sent a message saying that he was going to study over there and come back on Sunday (which I actually told him to do, but not for all weekend). Just got a message saying that he’s staying there until Tuesday now.

So I am living with someone who’s never here. I don’t know if this is perfect or flat out horrible.

I miss him. It feels weird living in his flat without him. Do I have to share his room with him when he comes back? Because I feel like it is now MINE. He has to be back in Valencia on Wednesday, but what’s to say that he’s not just going right back to his parents?

I’m all for a free place to live, but man, it just gets more and more awkward with each day that passes.

I should also probably learn how to use the gas stove.

This isn't growing up.

Sat, 02 Jun 2012 15:30:53 +0200

You would think that being alone in a foreign country would teach you how to grow up. So far, I’ve found that to be a lie.

I started thinking about this when I made the decision today to miss my close friend’s graduation and a killer pool party for university students in Valencia to make my CV and apply for jobs. I told myself, “Wow, Brittney, you’re growing up. Instead of going out, you’ve done something incredibly productive.” I also cleaned half of the house that I’m living in. But here’s how I am false in my fleeting thought that I am mature.

I don’t know where I got the notion that denying what you want to do and doing “grown up” things transmits into being an adult. That’s like if I wanted to be a boy so I stopped putting my hair in braids and wore “boy clothes” because “that’s what boys do.” This reasoning is flawed. That doesn’t make me a boy any more than staying in to work on a CV makes me an adult.

I’m still depending on a lot of people right now. If I didn’t have them, I’d be on the streets, with little money, not eating, not having internet, and having a pretty horrible time surviving. I’ve never really been on my own.

And granted, I’m only 21, haven’t finished my degree yet and I am in a foreign country. So it shouldn’t be expected for me to be an independent adult. But I think I need to stop saying that I am. I am not grown up. I am not an adult. I made one decision today in the step towards that direction, but until results start showing and I can get on my own feet, I am just going to be here depending on everyone else.

Maybe realizing how young and inexperienced I am will be the first step into becoming an adult. Maybe by the time I return to America I’ll be closer to being a productive member of society. I hope so. I certainly can’t keep this up forever.

If you would all just direct yourselves to this blog...

Sat, 02 Jun 2012 10:31:24 +0200

www.jaysonne.tumblr.com

www.jaysonne.tumblr.com

www.jaysonne.tumblr.com

This is my friend Jose, whom I’m incredibly fond of. He is the reason that I now do have a ticket home to America. He called my agency and paid for a new flight.

He is going to hate me when he sees that I’ve posted this. But everyone go and thank him please! And check out his other blog www.picsbyjay.tumblr.com because it’s pretty tight.

"I don’t think that what you believe should stop you from interacting with that which is beautiful."

Sat, 02 Jun 2012 10:22:10 +0200

“I don’t think that what you believe should stop you from interacting with that which is beautiful.”

- Christiana Robbins (via thehappyheartwanders)

doctorwhore replied to your post: Haha. askahsldgjdshg;adjsfqqw;oeigh NOOO COME BACK i hope things...

Thu, 31 May 2012 13:15:00 +0200

doctorwhore replied to your post: Haha.

askahsldgjdshg;adjsfqqw;oeigh NOOO COME BACK i hope things worked out omfg

theirreverentpilgrim replied to your post: Haha.

D: are you still spending the summer in Barcelona?

Things didn’t work out ha. Not even in the slightest. But this is life and this is going to be one hell of a summer…

I am spending the summer in Valencia. I’m thinking of going up to Barcelona for a bit, if the internship down here doesn’t work out as planned. But we shall see what happens.

This process has been a rollercoaster.

Thu, 31 May 2012 11:48:00 +0200

So, I’ve decided about ten different times in the span of two days to come home. I’ve decided nine different times to stay. As I was packing yesterday (as my flight left yesterday), I told myself to see if my card worked to change my flight (as it was super cheap to change and I’ll never have the chance to live in Spain for that little again). I called the agency. Instead of changing my flight, they cancelled it.

I got ready to stay and tried to find money to change my flight (as it was still only $280), but last minute my dean called the airlines and they reinstated the flight. I had to leave in an hour to make my flight. I still had a lot of things to do before I left, though, like get my room signed off and get deposits and things of that sort.

We go the airport. I had ticketless checking in, but my dean said that my flight was at 9:20. It wasn’t. We got to the airport with about 45 minutes until my flight boarded, but I was on the wrong side of the airport, which I didn’t know until I finally found my gate… Closed. I had missed it by five minutes.

I frantically called people here to see where I could go to sleep, if I should go back to the dorm or not, and no one was answering. So I got on the metro and traveled to the train station, where I bought a ticket back to the school. I met someone who wanted to talk about America, and he let me use his phone, and Juanmi picked me up an hour later (after answering that guy’s questions about Yellowstone, redwoods, and if we speak French in Chicago).

So now, I have successfully missed all of my flights, I can’t change my flight as I was marked as a no-show, and I am currently on Juanmi’s bed, trying to figure out what the hell I’m doing. To come home is going to cost almost $1,300.

It’s not how I wanted to do things by a long shot. It seemed like every time I made up my mind about what to do, it failed instantly. So I’m not surprised that when I tried to make my flight, it failed.

Hopefully my Spanish will improve, as I am now here seemingly indefinitely.

Haha.

Wed, 30 May 2012 16:02:40 +0200

So, if I don’t find around $250 by 10 in the morning tomorrow morning I lose $600 and don’t have a flight back to America ever, thereby forcing me to find another $1,300 dollars to buy a flight later.

Anyone have some money lying around to donate to the “Get Brittney Home” fund? This is what happens when you take risks and get lied to. Not a great combination.

scorp48: Imperial March (8-bit cover) - Star Wars I need this....

Mon, 28 May 2012 00:46:13 +0200

scorp48:

Imperial March (8-bit cover) - Star Wars

I need this. This is mine.

The world was on fire and no one could save me but...

Mon, 28 May 2012 00:13:34 +0200

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do.

America.

Sun, 27 May 2012 21:05:00 +0200

You know I love you. We’ve been through a lot together, and I’ll never forget the years that we’ve had. You’ve meant a lot to me, you’ve sheltered me, given me a great family and wonderful friends… I know it’s been tough for both of us for me to be flirting with Europe, but I had no choice.

Well, I want you to know that I still love you greatly. You will always be my number one. However, Europe has claimed me for just a little longer.

This summer, I will be remaining in Spain. You see, an opportunity presented itself, and although it steals time for us, I couldn’t say no. I’ll be seeing you in August or September.

I should probably stop being so emotional and overly irrational.

Sat, 26 May 2012 22:22:20 +0200

But I don’t waaaant to.

The thing I hate about myself

Sat, 26 May 2012 17:23:00 +0200

Is how often I feel like I have to justify what I’m doing. No one else is asking that of me, so why am I demanding it of myself?

messagestothemoon: One Plus One Equals None (Read each...

Sat, 19 May 2012 11:56:59 +0200

messagestothemoon:

One Plus One Equals None

(Read each number/symbol at a time)

Why can’t I write like this?

Audio

Mon, 14 May 2012 15:05:28 +0200

Shoot.

Mon, 14 May 2012 14:58:30 +0200

Train Man asked me what the possibility was of me staying this summer, to which I said slim. His response? “Then I’ll come study English in America this summer.”

Things are moving rather quickly with this one. Kind of really okay with it. We’ll see what happens, eh?

Yeah. I’m kind of fond of this one. He makes me smile,...

Sun, 13 May 2012 00:10:20 +0200

Yeah. I’m kind of fond of this one. He makes me smile, even when we’re liplocked.

"So, you’re telling me that there are 22 containers of your breath here?"

Fri, 11 May 2012 01:33:39 +0200

“So, you’re telling me that there are 22 containers of your breath here?”

- Tomisha, for her birthday, I blew up 22 balloons. With my breath.